Part 1: Keep the Channel Open
In March, the message “Keep the channel open” rang in my head.
It surfaced quietly during a meditation and grew louder with each passing day.
For a few weeks I whispered, wrote, and chanted “keep the channel open.”
Although I repeated the message often, its true meaning didn’t align strongly inside.
Just like a song that unexpectedly gets stuck in one’s head, “keep the channel open” then faded below.
Part 2: Faery Hill
On a bright sparkly Sunday, I traveled between my old life in Hoboken, New Jersey, and my new life in Weehawken.
The soft breeze nudged me into a jog toward home.
I reached Faery Hill and saw a clear path on the road.
Out of the blue, an unknown man appeared, blocking my sight of what lay ahead.
I broke into a sprint to be free, unaware that by speeding up I’d meet my fall.
I ran left, and so did he. Afraid of colliding, I ran faster, and my speed and a misstep threw me into the air.
I tripped landing hard on the resisting pavement.
Jarred by my descent, I screamed, cursed, and lost my breath. The man extended a hand, but I could not rise.
The blood and glass in my right hand and the hole in my left knee put me in a daze. My head spun.
I reached for weeds to clean myself up. Nature’s green reminded me to find my breath.
My new friend stood by my side as I stood. He lived only a few feet ahead and shared white napkins for my wounds.
Thankfully, each deep breath brought me home on my own two feet, as my blood altered the white napkin into red.
Part 3: Retrograde
The foreign object in my hand sent me from the ER to a hand surgeon.
The hand surgeon’s office led to lying down in an operating room with outstretched arms.
A million uncomfortable red bumps created a wild pattern from my head to my toes while with family on Father’s Day.
The ER could not confirm a root cause, but suspect the antibiotics and/or anesthesia drip triggered a reaction.
Feeling itchy and icky, I fled home on an earlier train, only to wait for hours on the tracks for a new engine to arrive.
The rash medication made me loopy and altered my sleep and sense of time for days.
Some said Mercury Retrograde was to blame. Even so—what of it?
I howled at the moon.
Part 4: The Playback
I haven’t had a good fall in a long time. I’m embarrassed to admit that I thought I’d maxed out my imaginary lifetime-of-falls quota, and that would keep me from tumbling to the ground again. My dramatic June fall altered that perception. Just as the rise and fall of a song’s notes share a message—here are insights on my spill and recovery.
You Can’t Always Get What You Want—Rolling Stones
My hands are tools that I use during my healing sessions. Having minor hand surgery and suffering the effects of different medications is not a fun process and not ideal for working. Over the years, I’ve learned that pain provides valuable information—opportunities for adjustments and refinement. My fall put me in the present and directed me to pay attention to and reflect on what was going on inside me that needed healing.
Don’t Bring Me Down—Electric Light Orchestra
A few moments before my fall, I felt anxious and hyper. The two thoughts running around in my head held clues to what brought me down. I might have recycled different variations of these thoughts for quite some time without noticing.
1) Time: “I better hurry up, so I don’t get into trouble. It’s my parents last night visiting. I don’t want to be late for dinner.”
2) Control: “So strange that this man unexpectedly popped out from nowhere—he’s in my way.”
Ain’t it Fun—Paramore
Building a thriving healing practice, writing a book, and blogging about female organ/sacral chakra health is a significant change from focusing on a career in the financial industry. My creative focus is to help share, serve, and solve, and the freedom is exciting, liberating, and fun! Working with my clients brings me joy. As much as I love my work, at times, my perception is that things aren’t moving fast enough. In my healing practice, my old business approach of “cracking the whip” to push stuff out was creating unsettled feelings “My book should be published by now, I should have XXXXXX clients, YYYY Likes on FB, etc.” All the “shoulds” and “have tos” were growing louder than the “I choose tos . . . .”
There are many who support me, and even though I support myself, perhaps I could support myself more deeply. Why not choose to replace the old whip with a feather to tickle me forward?
Right after my long train ride, I started to hear a message “Do nothing; Await further instruction.” Although the thought of doing nothing felt scary, I threw up my hands and listened rather than fight the message. The writing-my-book-and-expanding-my-business hustle would have to wait. Supporting myself wouldn’t just mean paying my bills, it would mean focusing on trust . . . trusting the process of life—even feeling disappointed with my current challenges. The minute I let go of all the things I had to do was the minute I felt lighter and less stressed. It didn’t take long for instructions to magically come in. Some examples:
• I received a call out of the blue from a stranger who introduced herself and asked, “How can I help you with your business?”
• A few days later a neighbor invited me over to get to know him and his wife. Turns out he is a published poet. He asked, “How can we help you with your writing?”
• A surprising tax refund check arrived out of nowhere, even though I had received a note the week before that indicated I still owed money.
• Unexpected invitations arrived (birthday party, visit to a lake, lunch with an old friend)
Counting Stars—One Republic
Support comes in different forms, and it doesn’t flourish by being stingy emotionally, physically, or spiritually—especially with yourself. Even though I wasn’t bringing in a lot of money while my hand was healing, I was worth spending some money on basics. The lift I was looking for came in these physical purchases that happened before I got the unexpected check:
• Sneakers (root chakra): A small hole on the top of my fairly new pricey sneakers seemed like a red flag. After reviewing my walk, a sales associate suggested that I didn’t need as much stability in my sneaker and a softer insole would probably would feel more comfortable. I think that message hit home not only in my soles but my soul. I smile every time I put on my comfy new Nike FitSole sneakers.
• Bras (heart chakra): Feels good when the boobs receive support, especially since they are flanking the heart space.
• Saucy Undies (sacral chakra): Hugs the sensual and passionate zone. Trying to avoid colliding with that man on the hill made me realize that I could support my love life more that avoiding it because I’m too busy.
• Wallet (root/sacral chakra): Symbol for abundance. My old wallet had a tear in the inside seam that bugged me every time I opened it up. Rather than keeping my eye on dollars I’d focus on abundance.
Feeling boxed into a sharp-tight corner, I reached out to soften the edges into the bend of a circle by:
• Participating in a meditation circle and circling up with a healer for a tune up. (Balances all chakras)
• Reconnecting to belly dancing classes to shake my hips in circles. Learn more about the benefits of belly dancing and why it’s good for different chakras—especially your core, sacral and root.
Within my expanded space, it suddenly seemed obvious that in my personal daily routine, I’d been cutting corners—meditation, exercising, EFT, journaling . . . . It’s not to say that I wasn’t doing these things, it’s just that I was rushing them rather than feeling them. Being isn’t about checking off items on a task list . . . it’s a feeling of connection. By not being present in my internal work, I unknowingly shifted my channel—my mind-body-spirit alignment—and picked up some excess static. Operation Save Uterus made me consciously aware that my inside frames my outside. My fall helped put me back on track. Keeping my channel open motivates me to confidently act even when it’s outside my comfort zone. An open channel keeps me out of my head/ego, puts me in my heart space, and lights the fire of my dreams.
Alive and Kicking—Simple Minds
Sometimes there’s an inclination to cling rather than to let go when things don’t go according to plan. The choice to remember that I’m part of the flow of life rests in my own hands. The vertical inch scar on my right hand reminds me not to cling to how it’s supposed to be and trust I’m moving in the right direction. Life unfolds to its own rhythm. I’m reminded that things happen for us rather than to us. Doing nothing led me to the zero point, the point of all possibilities. I believe my fall illuminated refinements I could chose to make to carry me forward further than I could go by doing it my old way of fighting. I’m filled with gratitude for my hands that broke my fall rather than my face and for all the people—family, doctors, nurses, friends, strangers who offered support along the way. I’m moving forward standing on and grounded in love and trust, feeling-listening to my internal GPS messaging system—my intuition—to guide me on my way. I am alive and I am kicking!
“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it, the place in your consciousness you are coming from as you act.”—Ram Dass
Rash: Irritation over delays.
Cuts: Punishment for not following your own rules.
Bleeding: Joy running out. Anger.
Nervousness: Fear, anxiety, struggle, rushing. Not trusting the process of life
Inspired To Health