Operation Save Uterus — Day 5 (September 2008)

operation save uterus 2_032014 (2)          A few days into Operation Save Uterus, I felt like I was riding a strong wave of highs and lows. I was energized by the informative suggestions my holistic healer, Arlene Reardon, had emailed to me, and amazed by all the insights in Anti-Cancer A New Way of Life, by David Servan-Schreiber, MD, PhD. But deep down, I still felt distant from my uterus and my other female organs. So I decided to try something new and radicalâ—I’d bond with my female organs in my day-to-day, kicking it off with a meet up over tea.

          I rush into Tafu, my sanctuary away from the office, fifteen minutes late for my appointment. I order my favorite—Green Angel—a sencha green tea [1] and sit down at a table near the window. Feeling frazzled, I pick up my cup, take a few sips, and start the conversation.

LG: Sorry I’m late! I pull out my phone and place my bag on the table. It’s only taken me twenty eight years, since I got my first period, to want to hang out with you in the light of day.

Team Uterus [aka vagina, vulva, uterus, cervix, ovaries, and fallopian tubes]: Better late than never! We’re happy to meet up! Raising their cup. Gotta love the green tea here—no after taste!

LG: I lean forward in my chair and stare at the table. All that pain and confusion made me so mad and frustrated at all of you for so long. I’m embarrassed to admit my anger kept me extra disconnected from you.

Team Uterus: We were trying to get your attention.

LG: Well . . . You have my undivided attention now! Getting dumped by text, finding out about my stone baby—I put both hands on the table and start to nervously tap my fingers—not being able to have kids, possibly losing my uterus . . . it did the trick! Quite dramatic!

Team Uterus: Sometimes wake up calls make life crystal clear.

We lock eyes for the first time.

LG: There’s so much I don’t understand about my own life and body—especially how all you gals work down there! I lean on the wood table and put my hand on my forehead.

Team Uterus: Take some deep breaths. Do you remember the advice your Dad’s given you from time to time?

LG: Um . . . Learn how to play golf, because it’s a great way to meet men?

Team Uterus: “Keep it simple.” Our advice? Keep focused on Operation Save Uterus. Remember to nurture yourself as though you were taking care of your own baby. Be kind to yourself.

LG: How am I supposed to keep it simple when so many questions are swirling around in my head—especially about the stone baby? I can’t wrap my brain . . .

Team Uterus: Take some deep breaths . . .

LG: . . . around that I was pregnant all those years ago. Even though I had irregular periods, my period always arrived. [2] I lock my arms across my chest and shake my head from side to side. I’m a tourist in my own body! Now it might be too late!

Team Uterus: Stressing on what happened all those years ago isn’t going to help you keep your uterus.

I look out the window ahead, take a few deep breaths and then a huge gulp of tea. Tears well up.

Team Uterus: We’re in this together and on your side. Remember that we’re one part of a larger team. If you’re feeling lost in your homeland, be the tour guide rather than the tourist. Your team is looking to take your lead.

LG: My lead?!? There’re a cajillion-trillion-million processes going on in my body that I have no clue about.

Team Uterus: What does health look, sound, smell, taste, and feel like to you, Lorraine?

I pause and stare at the ceiling.  

LG: Sounds like Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach jamming on the piano . . . and laughter.

Looks like meadows of flowers, vibrant and lush with color, especially green, like this sencha tea. Smells like jasmine, roses, spring dew, and the ocean. Feels like the buzz after I work out and the happy vibe when I draw…feels like love.

Team Uterus: Seek that out in your day-to-day. If your focus is health—be healthy—breathe healthy.

LG: I fidget in my chair. But the past few nights when I’ve been meditating and looking at what’s inside my uterus, I’ve noticed some dark-black sections, and lots of weeds. Looks and feels icky. Scares me.

The Team Uterus gals smile and lean back in their seat.

Team Uterus: If you don’t like what you see—change the picture. Pull out the weeds, add more color, sound, light, flowers—add whatever makes you feel good! Team Uterus opens her arms wide and sticks out her chest. You can do that sitting here, while you’re on the subway, while you’re meditating.

LG: You make it sound so simple.

Team Uterus: It’s your choice to make—not your doctors’, your family’s, or your friends’. Don’t get hung up on the information you think you need to learn. You’re a curious analyst. You’ll figure it out.

LG: I’m so scared, though. What if I don’t have enough fight in me left? I’m burned out and . . .

Team Uterus: Do you think being healthy is about fighting?

LG: I tilt my head to the right, squish up my face in confusion. Isn’t that how most people talk about it?

Team Uterus: What if you stopped fighting and went with the flow? Try zigging instead of zagging.

LG: Wait—I put both hands on the top of my head to prevent my mind from exploding—what are you saying?

Team Uterus: Take off your armor. Pay attention to how you feel rather than fighting against what you feel.

LG: Hhhmmm . . . I snap my fingers loudly. Weird, but I feel what you’re saying.

Team Uterus: (Organ clap) Yes! We feel it too! Remember that Bruce Hornsby song you used to love back in the day?

LG: “The Way It Is?” Love the piano in that song!

Team Uterus: Add it to your OSU anthem playlist. When your thoughts go negative or someone counters your Operation Save Uterus mission—remember the words to the song.

LG: “Ha—but don’t you believe them!” I sing, and then look at the time on my phone. Shoot. I need to get back to work! I stand up and give a high five to Team Uterus. Thanks! This made me feel better.

Team Uterus: Anytime! Hug?

I smile. Team Uterus and I do a quick embrace.

LG: But just to remind you—since there’s only one other person on the planet whom I’ve talked to about the stone baby—I grab my phone and bag—I’m keeping it a secret and taking it to my grave.

Team Uterus: If that’s how you feel now—OK!

LG: Here’s to Operation Save Uterus!

Team Uterus: The gals blow a kiss. Here’s to Operation Save Uterus!

I throw out my cup, say good-bye to my Tafu friends behind the counter, and walk out into the sunlight, feeling inspired that I’ve found a new advocate.

 

Notes:

[1] Green tea is known to help fight cancer cells. Get more information about green tea.

[2] Anovulation—occurs when an egg is not released by the ovary during the menstrual cycle. For some women, their period does not occur, but for other women, bleeding happens that might be considered a normal menstruation.

  3 comments

  1. Louise Crooks   •  

    Wow, I love your conversation with your body Lorraine. Very inspiring. Your insight on going with the flow, instead of ‘fighting’ to be healthy is wonderful. Language has an energy all of it’s own right!? I have one of Emoto Maseru’s books and it’s incredible how words have an impact on our well being. Great post!

    Louise x

    • lorraine   •     Author

      I’m a fan of Dr. Emoto too! I love his book, The Hidden Messages In Water!Yes- language really does have a strong impact! Glad you enjoyed the post!

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