spread your legs

Rethinking Spreading Your Legs

When I was a little girl, my mom stressed keeping my legs shut.

A recurring phrase was, “All boys want to do is spread your legs from east to west.”

In gym class, I never felt comfortable doing splits, and boys weren’t even on the mat doing that activity with me, so early on, I ruled out that her emphatic message involved school gymnastics.

“Lorraine, don’t you dare let anyone see your legs open.”

Somewhere deep inside me I suppose I kinda knew what she was talking about. Still, every time she nagged me to keep my legs closed when I wore skirts or dresses, I took a lot of deep annoyed breaths. Based on my own analysis of the terrain, I never thought there was anything that special going on down there, even when I got my period.

I also learned that some of what my mom said about the boys is what she’d heard from her mom.

At a certain age, and with new found experiential insights, whenever Mom used her unsuccessful version of imposing a chastity belt on my down there—“all boys want to do is spread….”—I would wonder, But what about north to south or south to west? Couldn’t that be fun?

Some of the worst times spreading my legs happened with my feet placed in stirrups or under anesthesia during surgery.

One of the most special conversations about opening up was with my mom’s mom, my Abuela, when I was in my mid-thirties. We were on a family vacation to Panama, and my Abuela and I talked about her childhood, fellas, sex, and intuition. During this chat, some of the family mythology I’d heard growing up morphed from fiction to nonfiction.

One of the fascinating stories she shared was that her intuitive gift was passed on to her—when she was two years old—from her mom as she held her right before she passed away.

It was only until I focused on building an energy practice that I did something about my curiosity about Spanish healing modalities.

A message from a psychic friend and research for my book in progress piqued my curiosity and recently led me to a session with a curandera in New York City. A curandera is a healer, typically from Spanish countries (Spain, Latin America), who uses folk remedies. As with any profession, there are some gems and some quacks. The lovely lady I saw was a curandera of light and not one of lower/dark energy.

Although what happened might sound odd to some, it felt very real to me.

During this healing process things took an unexpected turn—I spent time in my womb.

As I breathed deeply, the image of my mom being pregnant with me emerged very clearly and then quickly included my Abuela when she was pregnant, and then her mom also appeared, and then her mom’s mom and a few others—all within the Cosmic Womb I inhabited in that moment.

The feeling that bubbled up was immensely intense and shameful. Generations of heavy, harsh pain and distress felt like the weight of the Titanic. For a moment, the feeling was that gigantic. I questioned it might be too dense, too dark and raw to handle.

My curandera friend guided me to continue to breathe deeply.

As I focused on my breath and intended release and asked for help from all the women who came before me, I spread my legs wider on the table.

It wasn’t an east to west opening…but an opening nonetheless.

Space was needed to allow a path for the energy to find its way out.

And wow, after this ancestral energetic purging, my down there felt lighter and freer.

A few days later, I found myself at the gym, spreading my legs while doing a bench press with a weight probably too heavy considering I hadn’t done a bench press in a while.

During one of the extensions, I felt a twinge of pain, maybe a slight tearing in my left lower back. I felt most of the weight that had been placed on my left side during my womb healing process with the curandera.

The left side of the celestial womb is the feminine side and relates to needs, feelings, intuition, and dreams. The element relates to water.

What sort of generational weight did I carry from unresolved feelings of the past from the women who came before me?

Sound a bit woo-woo or too out there? Well science is evolving to link experiences from past generations to your current genes. Learn more here.

They say there are no such things as coincidences, and the streams of red that flowed out of me shortly after my session looked quite different from any other flow.

Visually, some of the blood looked ancient and some brand new. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with my cycle. More to follow.

I can’t help but consider that there’s been a big change in the house of my womb. A positive and profound makeover of sorts. The renovations are still under progress.

As much as I enjoy the metaphor of a butterfly spreading its wings and a bird extending its wings to soar, I also think it’s time for women to spread their legs more.

Let’s face it, how much time during the day do you spend in your head rather than grounded in your body?

Spreading your legs is a position of power and helps you to balance and ground.

• Warrior pose grounds and balances the root chakra to clear the mind.
• Wrestlers and lifters often spread their legs to create greater balance to lift weight.
• A woman opens a path for her baby to arrive by spreading her legs.

In what ways are you keeping your legs closed in your life?

If you’re birthing a dream or goal if your legs are too tightly locked together, how can you bend and adjust to move forward? For the times that get tough, if you’re perched on one leg or leaning only to one side, how can you stand your ground?

Worth considering:

Down there, how are you carrying your stuff or the energetic weight of the women in your family who came before you?

During your exploration, avoid keeping your legs too tightly closed. Spread your legs when necessary.


spread your legs